Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a condition marked by intense emotions and moods which are not easily contained. You think I'M a monster? However, few coping mechanisms could be followed to reduce the instability. And why did you even bring it up? If you have BPD and are in need of mental health support, help is available to you. It's like they can't understand why their plan to copy you didn't work. If you wanna play a really FUN game though - when your ex with BPD gets with someone and it turns into a total shit show situation because the person they moved in is an emotional wreck and an ACTUAL drug addict and they want someone to validate their momentary dislike of the person just say all those same snarky idioms they always said at you. Possibly finding a way around this, maybe messaging that you wont be contactable at these times and making sure you have set times for yourself is probably one of the best ways to achieve this, to avoid miscommunication for all parties. Take that concentrated laser of condescending sarcastic "wit" of theirs and flip it right back around on them and shine it in their fucking eyeballs until they are twitching on the floor like Kenny from South Park after watching Electric Soldier Porygon. From Hollywood to New York and everywhere in between, see what your favorite stars are up to! They want affirmation that they are Gods walking on this earth. You aren't their friend because you actually like them, they just figured out how to manipulate your emotions and make you stay close with them. It is challenging to have any relationship with or care for an individual with BPD. 2. You can do no wrong except perhaps this. The popularity and revenue-earning potential of AI-generated songs have understandably put music industry gatekeepers on guard. | I write mostly about my thoughts and feelings about my mental illnesses and how it affects my life as it crops up. Although it can be easy to try to make a celebrity our favorite person, it's important to remember that they are just people too and they have their own flaws like the rest of us. Trust me, I know. Elizabeth is a freelance health and wellness writer. And you'll get to hear about it as they work themselves into an angsty frenzy over the millions of paranoid thoughts that populate their head and since actually talking to the person they are splitting black on at the moment is just too much trouble, they'll continue to believe their own shit when in reality that person is totally fine with them and has no ill will towards them at all and doesn't even know that they are angry with them. These are the treatment options used most frequently: Nia is a freelance writer as well as a passionate advocate for mental health awareness. While it isnt our fault for the way we feel, we must also consider that putting such a heavy responsibility on others for our happiness isnt fair either. Thank you! (And it's exactly why they will eventually discard you). You will blame yourself for their misery and start becoming reclusive as a result. Remembering they have a life outside of us. You don't understand, it takes YEARS and a deep spiritual connection for me to be open with ANYONE. It is easier said than done, I know. 2023 Dotdash Media, Inc. All rights reserved. I HAVE TO TRY SOOOO HARD AND YOU GET WHAT YOU GET JUST FOR BEING YOU!!! Evol Med Public Health. So, we go out of our way to do what we can to stop them from leaving, which sometimes pushes them away and results in them leaving. She helps brands craft factual, yet relatable content that resonates with diverse audiences. Chances are, your favorite person has other things they pay attention to, are busy with work, other friends, family, hobbies, perhaps a significant other or they dont think about you as nearly as much as you think about them. Over the course of a year, I discovered that I had BPD, and discovered that he was my FP. Best of luck!". The truth is, most of the time, our favorite people are just as amazing as anyone else in the world, but because we have attached ourselves to them, we tend to idealize them and look to them as our savior. You decide to ignore their texts and then you find out the next day, they woke up feeling sick and thats why they werent themselves. But they will just get a sick devious thrill out of watching you clumsily try to gain back their favor and admiration. To avoid getting sucked too deeply into the whirlpool of this attachment, it is important that a favorite person draws healthy boundaries. How do you know if someone is your favorite person in BPD? Learn from the people who know best: Life on the Borderline is our newsletter featuring honest, helpful stories by writers living with BPD. Put in boundaries, saying what you are comfortable talking about/helping with and what you arent. as the sparks fly out of their ears. Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental health disorder that affects how you think and feel about yourself and others around you. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. They become quite demanding of their favorite person and often feel extreme jealousy. One must draw some mutual boundaries while in a relationship with someone with BPD. In fact, for some, celebrities may even serve as idealized "favorite people." Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Date reviewed: 31 January 2023. Just recently I spent about a month avoiding the heck out of seeing his face or hearing his music. Here are some signs that should help identify a person with BPD favorite person . You can find even more stories on our Home page. A person with BPD may be so invested in their favorite person that they idealize the stances and opinions they happen to hold. However, if you have BPD yourself, try seeking mental health support. Jeong, H., Jin, M. J., & Hyun, M. H. (2022). The first awkward phase of Have you ever felt like avoiding the very thing you desire? The favorite person is an extremely important part of their life, helping to provide stability during times of difficulty for the person with BPD. I had you pegged and analyzed from day two of talking.". They test these people in their lives consciously and unconsciously to see if they, too, are giving up like the others. Archived post. While it's perfectly normal to admire someone from afar, it's important to remember that celebrities are just people too and they're not perfect. I do feel completely ridiculous about it sometimes. However, the expectations placed on a favorite person, as well as downsides when these arent met can reveal the true nature of favorite person connection. Some people revel in the idea of being an FP. Therefore, while a favorite person may provide some validation and comfort to someone with BPD, it becomes important to draw boundaries in the relationship to avoid unhealthy interactions. Having a favorite person has been the greatest challenge for me as someone with BPD. When living with someone with BPD or Favorite person issues,you should set healthy boundaries so that the relationship does not become unhealthy. This means observing their joy when the favorite person makes time to be with them, or shouldering mean words or a cold shoulder upon refusing the wishes of a person with BPD. Not so much. Spend time doing something you love such as crafting, spending time outside with a loved one, or reading a great bookwhatever brings a smile to your face. Jealousy is a big thing people with BPD have to deal with because when we feel, we feel completely. My days would be spent learning everything I could about him and what he liked. Even though we know this, we often still do it. Illness Anxiety Disorder (Hypochondriasis), Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Neurocognitive Disorder Due To Alzheimer's Disease, Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder. It is unremarkable to have a person in your life whom you prioritize and spend a great deal of time with. People with Borderline make non-BPDs want to bash their own head in with a brick because all they know is sarcastic quips that they think are "funny." There, youll also find thoughts and questions by our community. A little transgression from their favorite person can spark feelings of anger, fear, and instability in the relationship. Its also good to naturally give our favorite people the benefit of the doubt, especially if our favorite people are our best friends, significant others or close peers. [Mutual Friend] would like to come down to visit and I really want the three of us to hang out together soon! They have no patience and they expect you to be totally perfect at something they spent YEARS learning in just a matter of minutes. Maybe wondering what it means. Medical Reviewers confirm the content is thorough and accurate, reflecting the latest evidence-based research. To reverse and buckle down and convince them you WON'T abandon them like the others did, you will get rid of everyone but them and you will spend more and more time together as a result of your self-imposed isolation. WebIve met a lot of backlash in the BPD community when I say I have a celebrity for a Favorite Person. This is where you step in. "I hate that you look up to me so much! They might not have been paying attention before when you tried to convey your insecurities in the initial stages of idealization, but once they realize you could blow their cover to the rest of the human world, they use all their stored emotional ammunition to make sure you stay quiet. Dumb little fucker.". A big thing about BPD is seeking approval and having an inability to maintain and regulate emotions and healthy relationships. Feed their own shit right back to them and watch them go "Beep-boop this does not compute!" They even have euphoria about spending time with their favorite person. It is one of the absolutely worst feelings in the world to lose contact with your favorite person. Its something that people with BPD recognized as a trend and kind of defined the idea for themselves. In what can be a difficult and uncertain world, it is important to understand what is truly in our control: ourselves. I think a way to help this is to remind yourself of your self-worth and practice self-care. Most of the time its me telling myself that Im the ugliest, worst, fattest creature on that planet that he wouldnt want to ever go near. Initially, they seem like a savior who they often see and idolize as perfect human beings. Darrel Hammond is an American comedian who rose to fame as a member of the SNL. First, you should be able to recognize the patterns of BPD. Sometimes, things arent what they seem and our favorite people go through their own ups and downs as well. Jan Roberts, DSW, LCSW, a licensed clinical social worker goes further to explain, Unfortunately, most people with BPD have challenges in creating and sustaining safe, reciprocal relationships without having intense fears of abandonment and insecurity.. Here are some of the toughest things about having a favorite person. Now, some people will get aggressive, in which case, get out of there now. She helps brands craft factual, yet relatable content that resonates with diverse audiences. Because they tried mirroring you ONLY to get attention, all of that "liking your stuff" was never actually real so you have nothing to really relate upon. Well, see pwBPD (people with BPD) have this thing where they instantly attach to someone and emotionally imprint on that person. The term You're the only person I can even KIND of be open with, but even you don't listen to me at all! Verywell Mind's content is for informational and educational purposes only. You do not have to have a favorite person to be diagnosed with BPD, and this type of relationship can also occur with other types of personality disorders. THEY ALL WANT TO BE AROUND YOU NOT ME!!! Scan this QR code to download the app now. Scan this QR code to download the app now. When the favorite Borderline Personality Disorder: Why 'fast and furious'? A simple reassurance to say that you do love them helps in ways that most probably dont understand. I'm going to make him feel my pain. One night I discovered that he had an ex girlfriend. Singer Jonny However, these emotions constantly keep changing. As the favorite person provides emotional security in the life of someone with BPD, they may turn to them over and over again; expecting not only good advice but assurance that their thoughts, feelings, and choices are valid even when their emotions feel overwhelming. Subscribe here. You feel ignored so you start trying to mirror them for attention. You get burned out on being with them because you have nothing to share. Content is reviewed before publication and upon substantial updates. "You only went to school with me because you wanted to make me happy, not because you genuinely wanted to so that invalidates the entire thing. At the same time, they're allowed to be rude as fuck and talk down to you and unload their entire arsenal of insults at you, but if you say the slightest thing back to them they get whiny and start screeching that YOU are the one abusing THEM. Sometimes, those of us who have BPD tend to idealize our favorite person. And yeah, I have a specific way of typing and ordering and arranging my sentences and thoughts - I'm autistic.